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    在精準算計高校志愿后 看看好爸爸梁啟超的選擇

    發布時間: 2019/7/3 14:38:15 被閱覽數: 次 來源: 中國青年報
    文字 〖 〗 )
    爸媽成功學
      在精準算計高校志愿后 看看好爸爸梁啟超的選擇
          話劇之前,小學生一起背誦《少年中國說》。
          梁啟超教育梁思禮,要讓自己的志向“飛到那九重天外去”。
      人說,龍生九子個個不同。
      梁啟超的9個孩子,個個優秀,除了3個院士,其余6人也都在各自領域成就非凡。養兒育女可是個不凡的命題,現代人不敢生二胎的最大痛苦是,一個都伺候不過來,那么兩個將會給家庭帶來多大的“災難”。
      最近一部話劇火了:《中國家風——梁啟超和他的九個兒女》。
      話劇力圖展現的是這個中國家庭的“教育奇跡”背后,梁啟超與子女們數十年如一日隨時的身心互動,以及由此而形成的他給孩子們親筆書寫的200多萬字的感人家書。這些家書生動再現了中華民族優良的家風家訓,展示了家長在孩子思想品德形成中的基石作用和終身影響。
      男一號梁啟超的扮演者是王強,曾經用渾厚的男中音震撼新東方的大課堂,少男少女們陶醉其中,在瞬間決定要發奮學英語改變命運。歷經20年的商海洗禮,這位真格基金聯合創始人,再到一起教育科技的董事長卻重新回到影響人心的老行當里,試圖用一個舞臺劇詮釋“一門三院士,九子皆才俊”背后的奧秘。一個中國當年最成功的英語教師,現在全心傳播的,卻是“中國家風”的力量。
      準確定位,這是臺教育話劇,因為所有的對白,都是圍繞孩子的成長成才,都試圖在用兩代人溝通的細節,展示梁啟超作為家長的思考與智慧。時下,正是高三畢業生填志愿選未來的關鍵時刻,作為父母,應該給孩子什么樣的指導呢,分寸又在哪里,如何讓叛逆的孩子與你交心,更多地接受你的苦口良言呢?
      梁啟超有很多思考和辦法值得今天的父母借鑒。
      案例一:如何引導女兒梁思莊自己思考,進行學科選擇。
      梁啟超在給遠在海外求學的梁思莊寫信時提出了作為父親的意愿:“我想你們兄弟姐妹,至今還沒有一個學自然科學的,很是我們家里的憾事……我很想你以生物學為主科。”
      他分析了這個學科在當時中國的需求度和歸國后的好處:“因為它是現代最進步的自然科學,而且為哲學、社會學之主要基礎,極有趣而不須粗重的工作,于女子極為合宜,學回來后本國的生物隨時可以采集實驗,容易有新發明。截到今日止,中國女子還沒有入學這門(男子也極少),你來做個‘先登者’不好嗎?”
      但梁思莊始終對生物學提不起興趣,了解情況后梁啟超馬上表明立場:“凡學問最好是自己性之所近,往往是事半功倍。”
      得到“不必拘泥于爹爹的話”“應該自己體察做主”回復的梁思莊,后來考入美國哥倫比亞大學圖書館學院,最終成為一名圖書館學的專家。
      案例二:面對因為學業停滯而焦慮不安的兒子梁思成時,梁啟超先生經常用有趣的玩笑開導他,讓其不要總是沉溺于建筑畫圖中,成為一個“書呆子”。點撥兒子:“學問之道亦專亦博,非得眼界開闊,觸類旁通才能有所成啊。”
      由王強扮演的梁啟超手捧一個籃球,開導兒子:“學問的架構,就像這籃球一樣,是由一塊塊不同的皮子拼起來的,一塊皮子再好也不能成為一個完整的球體,需要不同皮子的組合。你也應該適當擴展一下人文學科,開闊眼界,不必拘泥在一張皮子的鉆研上。”言辭誠懇,舉手投足,盡顯一位父親的智慧和用心良苦。
      學成歸國工作之前,這位父親又替梁思成婉拒了清華大學的邀約,讓他前往更需要建筑學專家的東北大學。兒子怕東北寒冷,生活不習慣,有點抵觸。
      梁啟超又給他做思想工作:“思成啊,這是我這一生最痛心最正確的決定,吾輩命運,當與國家命運緊系一身。”寥寥數語,一腔赤子之情,不僅感染了梁思成,也讓臺下觀眾動容。
      中國人對前途和命運的選擇,古今同也。
      有人說,一個中國孩子從小到大的教育選擇,最能體現其父母的真實取向。因為對孩子的設計代表了父母的未來和所有的希望,能展示父母真正的意志和三觀,包括父母對自己未來的設計。想想現在的家長,一說填志愿,談的不是興趣,不是對國家的貢獻,算計的就是將來能否到更大的城市,能否進金融機構、跨國銀行,或是有保障的行業,想到的都是如何用最少的分數,進入更能賺錢的專業。
      當然在和平時期,這也很正常。但,如果父母對孩子的成長規劃,用盡了皮袍下的“小”,又怎么指望孩子將來做大事呢?
      我們都說要扣好孩子人生的第一粒扣子,面對選擇的時候,父母怎么做,不就是身體力行的教育嗎?而且身教勝過千言萬語。想想后來,梁思成頂著巨大的壓力,保護北京古建筑,那種傲骨和忘我,難道沒有他父親通過那次棄清華而擇東北大學的選擇,給了他一次深刻教育的功勞嗎?
      案例三:小兒子愛仰望飛機。在話劇的結尾,梁啟超疊了一個紙飛機對兒子說,“愿它和你一起,無憂不惑不懼,飛到那九重天外去!”這句話滋養了導彈專家梁思禮院士的一生。
      年長后的梁思禮赴美訪問,在西雅圖遇見了同窗好友。這位華人導彈專家年薪300萬美元,而當時梁思禮一年的工資還不到1萬元人民幣。梁思禮卻說:“我那位同學研究出來的導彈,當時也許就瞄準中國;可我研究出的導彈,卻是保衛祖國。我為此非常自豪!”
      這個世界上沒有無緣無故的愛與恨。梁思禮4歲半父親就去世了,但梁啟超營造的家風,卻伴隨他,塑造了這個孩子的思想境界和人生高度。
      人們都知道梁啟超有《少年中國說》《飲冰室合集》,那是大道理。而道理的背后,有真選擇,真放棄,有種種細節。這樣的家教,才讓孩子未來有了大胸懷大氣概大作為。這臺不長的話劇不僅讓觀眾滿含熱淚,更理解了,孩子好才是真的好。梁啟超才情橫溢的作品、崇高的學界地位,只有配合了他細膩成功的子女教育,才真正構筑出他完美的人生。
      堵力 來源:中國青年報
    編輯:秋痕

    2019港澳臺大學生網信企業實習計劃啟動
    殷鴻福院士:批判性思維要從中學抓起

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